Just a Little POOH

Winnie-the-Pooh that is.

It was a great Halloween. Bryant had the choice to be either a cowboy or Winnie-the-Pooh. He was the cutest Pooh. Bryant and Lukas' cousins: Lindsey, Dillon, and Whit came over for the evening and traveled the neighborhood with us. We put Whit and Bryant in the wagon and carted them through the whole neighborhood. Lukas stayed awake until we walked into the door of the house and he fell asleep on his Aunt Lisa's shoulder. He was a cute little bear. He wore the same outfit that Bryant wore his first Halloween.

The other pictures I took earlier in the afternoon on Halloween. The boys and I just went outside and I snapped about 50 pictures of them playing in the leaves and Lukas eating dirt. It was a GREAT DAY!

Over the past few weeks so much has happened to me. I was thinking that I should save that for another post, but since I'm here I'll tell you all about it......at least a condensed version.

A few weeks ago I developed what I thought was a virus. I never really felt bad except for 1 day, but I had it for 7 days. At the end of the 7 days I began to have joint swelling at various joints throughout my body. I attributed it to swinging on a rope swing at a party for Chris' work, but as the symptoms persisted and became worse I saw a Dr. that I used to work for. He diagnosed me with "Reactive arthritis". I've been in the hospital system for about 10 years now and have never heard of this. Basically, my body had an inflammatory response the the BACTERIA I had in my stomach. It was not a virus at all. The bacteria caused an inflammatory response in my gut and my joints responded in kind. Let's just say I have a whole new respect for those who suffer with arthritis. The hardest hit have been my ankles and my knees though this has traveled almost every joint in my body except my right shoulder and my hips. The chance still exists that this could go anywhere even my back, my eyes and my kidneys as this could last anywhere from 3 months to 12 months. I have taken a round of steroids which has helped ease the pain. Night-time is the hardest as well as the mornings.

All that said.......there is nothing like a little health problem to remind you that life is precious. Even in the midst of my little arthritis issue parents have lost children, people have found out they've had cancer, had a kidney stone, etc. For a few days I would say I felt depressed at the prospect that his could last for such a long time. But, after some time to refocus my vision, I realized what I've always known; that the Lord knows exactly what he's doing. Don't get me wrong, don't think for one minute that I didn't ask the Lord to heal me, fix me, HEAR me.......but what I really need is for Him to SUSTAIN me. Our pastor preached a sermon once on "BUT IF NOT". I doubt I'll ever forget it. Not because it was something incredibly profound, but because it accurately describes what we do when we profess our faith in Jesus. Let me see if I can explain.......I believe that the Lord CAN heal me, BUT IF he does NOT, I will still believe he loves me and is in control. I know the Lord can protect my children, BUT IF he does NOT, I will still believe he knows what is best for them and for me. It is in the "BUT IF NOTS" that we find out what our faith is made of. We will either get mad at God or choose to trust him.....OR maybe you do both. You get mad even though you still trust him. So if arthritis is my challenge today and tomorrow or for 12 months then that is 12 months that I am reminded constantly that my life is only sustained by grace. I could loose it tomorrow. I will believe everyday that the Lord can heal me, BUT IF NOT..............he saved my life and I'll deal with the arthritis.